Episode 5/6 My Thoughts

Well, this is a first episode in a long time that Miss Alli has given a straight up A+ on her recaplet. I hear those EMMY bells ringing again!

I think I liked last week's format for my thoughts so I'm gonna do it again. If you take issue, leave a comment and I'll come up with something else next week.

Brian and Greg

• I love it whenever these two are on the mat to start the leg. First off we have them saying, "The brothers will be cruisin' in!" It was like an exercise in televised dramatic irony, as they've been showing us the crash all week in the previews, you know?
• Onto the caves, full of mud, they remark they look like they're in Braveheart. To me it looked more like Forrest Gump.
• "No one's gonna get our water--no one knows where they are!" I have no idea why that made me laugh so much.
• Okay, and at the second map upon opening the clue, "Go home and give mom a hug and eat all her chicken enchiladas until you are in a food coma." Priceless.
• Inside the cave, "Wow, this was like you locking me inside the sleeping bag when we were kids". Awesome. Not the trapping in the sleeping bag. Just the connection.
• Dude, these dudes are, like, genuine. They were crying and praying over their cameraman (for that matter, they actually showed a camerman on the show--on purpose!). And they actually told people to keep going so they wouldn't get behind on their own race. I don't think I could like these two more right now.

Lynn and Alex

• Okay, the boys need to get over the whole "Out for Rob and Amber" thing. It's getting old. I know they're probably editing in every single comment they make abouut them, but seriously. Let's focus. Otherwise you're going to find yourself driving around Compton. I mean, Johannesburg.
• The boys at the first detour with the tribes? Okay, these guys never figured out that what was surrounding the chiefs or what the chiefs were doing had the slightest connection to what they were suppposed to bring to them. Dude. Yer dumb. However, after the dude ran Lynn off with the spear, Lynn's line "I guess that's a no?" was great.
• We've had taxigate parts I, II, and III. We have had donkey gate. And ox gate. But at least those were all somewhat tangible. I'm assuming CompassionGate just won't fly.
• While it was a bit bitchy of you not to let Rob and Amber on the big-ass bus with you, I understand. Rob would have done the same.
• Hey, Lynn, is Alex really your Farmboy?

Meredith and Gretchen

• Gretchen reminds me of someone, but I'm not sure if it's a muppet or a right-wing commentator. Can anyone help me out?
• As Gretchen went down into the cave, she yelled out, "Goodbye, cruel world!" Now, I really don't believe she's this hip (but then, neither am I), and I am certain that line is in a play or a book. I can't remember where, and it's driving me insane. If anyone can find it, I'll give you some extra bonus points.
• Yes, Gretchen, the clue is in the cave. This is not the Paris Sewers.
• Ouch.
• So after Gretchen fell and was all just like "Meredith, just look for the clue!" and "Oh man, I still have a road block to do!" I couldn't help myself but start to kind of dig the screechy muppet. I mean, can you imagine what Victoria would have done in this situation?
• Bonus points if someone can find an image of Massive Head Wound Harry from Saturday Night Live (Karen came up with that one, not me).
• Gretchen, I know you think you "Can't go to Soweto market [with a big ass headwound]!", but at least you're off to get diapers. They might work as a bandage as well.
• And how was that for awesome when they were at the orphanage and in the background that kid totally got clocked in the head with the soccer ball? Way too cool.
• I loved that the other racers were shown cheering for Gretchen and Meredith getting into the pit stop. We haven't seen that since season one, I don't think!
• Meredith (since I really haven't mentioned you at all): you can say "Are you my bushman?" any time you want. And if the use of the word bushman is any indicator of performance, you just might win this thing!

Ray and Deana

• They got cars?! I totally wish they would have been old people cadillacs or something. That would have been excellent.
• So what is up with Deana's eye? Did she really get hit that hard with the corn mashing thing? It's totally been like that all race.
• Coming in last: out of the race. Coming in last after the "oldsters": Ego bruise. Coming in last after the oldsters with the headwound and no posessions except the clothes on their back and their passports: PRICELESS.
• Sometimes karma really does take the form of a woman with a corn-filled basket.
• Bye bye. I had you as one of my four teams, but I'm glad you went away.

Rob and Amber

• Amber: "She's a angel in high heels and a skirt!" I know another one.
• Rob and Amber did that roadblock really, really fast. You know how I know? Because after they did the fast forward at the towers, they had to drive elsewhere (I think it was like fifty miles, but I could be wrong) to the roadblock. And you know where that fast forward was? Right across town from the Pit Stop!
• I think Killer Fatigue is setting in for Rob, too. At the fast forward was the first time we've seen him even remotely short with Amber on the show. But of course, she was put upon to make a decision. The only decision she's ever made in her reality TV show career is to align herself with Rob. THE ONLY ONE.
• I loved it when they got recognized at both the Hospital and the Market. But I wonder how Rob feels when it's Amber that gets recognized first, and not him!
• Oh Rob, Rob, Rob. You can't expect to 1) steal someone's cab 2) pay a bus driver to not open the back of the bus and 3) tell the shuttle driver at the airport in L.A. to not stop for people and not expect it to bite you in the ass at some point. So don't feel sore about Lynn and Alex not letting you on the bus, okay? Thanks.

Ron and Kelly

• I have "We'll be friends!" written down in my notes, but I have no idea why I thought it was funny.
• "I feel like I'm in the Army!" Kelly, please don't follow Ron's lead. Thank you. Bye bye.
• "Mission Accomplished!" Kelly, please don't follow Ron's lead. That's your military total up to two. Bye bye.
• "That was just like bombing Baghdad!" Ron. You're up to six now. Bye bye.
• "I drove Humvees through the desert in the Army." Seven. Bye bye.
• "If the lion jumps up on me, I'm throwing him you." -- Ron. Please do. I bet it'd be like Fallujah.

Uchenna and Joyce

• Oh Uchenna, you go on with your inner Wookie self!
• But, dude? You really need to learn how to read a map. When you start worrying about the lions starving because you can't find your way to get there to feed them? That's a problem. I'll guess they'll have to make do with Kelly.
• I do, however, applaud you for carrying a BP bag. It is my favorite corporate logo. It keeps you movin'.
• You two were so awesome at the orphanage. I do hope, however, that your whole "we want to do the race to get money for in-vitro" was leading up to this episode, because it's starting to bug.
• Joyce--thanks for reminding Uchenna (and the entire audience) that Meredith is a man! I forget sometimes, too.

And some general thoughts:

Karen, upon seeing the lion feeding task: "Um, no thanks. I spend enough time with Ivan". That's our cat. Who likes to play bite. And the back of my hand and the hole in my sweatshirt can prove it.

The Amazing Editors strike again! Brian [upon entering the car and squealing with delight] "Wow, I spend too much time with Lynn." Cut to Lynn, squealing.

Is it just me, or upon arrival at the pit stop, did you have an urge for cheese?

I'm not entirely sure how down I am with this new Non-Elimination leg Phil takes everything rule. I mean, what's next? "Six teams will travel by car to the airport, one team will travel by arthritic-ridden donkey"?

That's it for today--But not for the recap!

I forgot to tell my Nelson Mandela story. When I was at Trinity College in Dublin, Nelson Mandela came to speak and I went to see him. We are all excited because it was like, "yeah! A totally awesome human rights activist who is a survivor of a whole lot of apartheid crap and he's won a Nobel Peace Prize! This is going to be awesome!" Well, it would have been awesome, except that it wasn't. He droned on and on for over two hours about governmental policy and was the dryest, most elitist lecturer I'd ever had (and I studied Existensial Film). So when he finally got done he turned to the crowded hall and asked if anyone had questions. No one raised their hands, but at that moment someone's mobile went off and their ring? The Hallelujah Chorus. So incredibly wrong but so incredibly funny.